cough, i feel sick. down with flu.

i'm at breaking point. how can anyone in the right mind stand this? it really isn't good. can i still make it good? i hope so.. it's gonna be cold. living in a lonely planet. mymind is spinning. not attempt to drown my sorrows in work. hope it works, if not, i'm gonna be the one that drowns. close to breaking.

i want to be the one standing at the end.

shit, i feel lousy. this is worse than bad. can't pretend i didn't see. i feel damn low. it hurts me so much, the pain is unbearable. my head is thumping still. but i can't give up before i start. nothing without a fight. i really don't know what to feel. i guess it's up to me to clear things up. this is sick. haven't felt so bloody shitty for some time now.. why must it start now? i don't wanna go to that place. i've been there before, hate it. never want to go anywhere near there, ever. man, i feel sick. i'd better not screw it up. i'll try set it right. hey, you aren't that bad. wth, i don't feel good. the pain is inexorable.

why am i so scared?

whow it's still chinese new year.. it's a fun time.. spent the first few days in malaysia as always..not that it's bad.. get to see beautiful fireworks and firecrackers and the like.. roxy. me and my cousins were watching other ppl's fireworks.. damn nice! but very expensive..haha.. but very chio!! watching fireworks against the backdrop of the stars..what a sight, magnificent. man-made beauty with the awesome beauty of nature..oh ya the stars in m'sia are so nice. when the sky's clear can see so many stars.. and how fast they move..or earth spins..they move so much within hours.. damn i know nothing.. very fascinated by the extent of it all..like there's no end..whoa. i feel small..haha just a passing thought.. anyway angbao collection wasn't too bad.. not saying it was very good.. haha whatever. that's not the point. right.

maths s was a killer. never felt so stupid. really man.. arrgh. seems like i've got lots to do. damn. got to hang on. looks like i just got a taste of things to come.. it's gonna be tough. as if i didn't know that. can one lah.

donald is right. i've got to do something.. something soon..

arm still feels not so right.. felt suan the whole day today.. wth.. was thinking of playing a little tomorrow.. but think i might have to stick to weights.. it isn't fun. damn. i want to play.